Posted by Dan Sevillle on April 21, 2013
Allow me to contend that we do not need professional therapists to engage in self-discovery or work towards becoming our “best selves.” Despite the pop culture phenomenon of life coaches, you could most likely get as good advice from Ronald McDonald or spending the five cents with Lucy. This subject has been endlessly dissected, and literally volumes of self-help books and how-to manuals have been written on it. Most have little or nothing to do with the “science” of self-discovery and self-improvement as it is by nearly all accounts more of an “art.” Like any great artistic endeavor, I could teach you techniques and show you examples, but you will need to eventually pick up a brush and start painting for yourself. What I am trying to convey (without coming across like every other book out there) is that it is all up to you.
Allow me to contend that we do not need professional therapists to engage in self-discovery or work towards becoming our “best selves.” Despite the pop culture phenomenon of life coaches, you could most likely get as good advice from Ronald McDonald or spending the five cents with Lucy. This subject has been endlessly dissected, and literally volumes of self-help books and how-to manuals have been written on it. Most have little or nothing to do with the “science” of self-discovery and self-improvement as it is by nearly all accounts more of an “art.” Like any great artistic endeavor, I could teach you techniques and show you examples, but you will need to eventually pick up a brush and start painting for yourself. What I am trying to convey (without coming across like every other book out there) is that it is all up to you.
With that said, below are some simple suggestions for learning more about your “inner self” and helping you (provided you take action) to lead from within.
- Challenge yourself: Change is a door that can only be opened from the inside. Change your mind, maintain that change, and give yourself a head start. It is vital to learn about your own patterns and thoughts, and how you can change to enhance flexibility, choice, and control across all aspects of life. Investigate your “inner self,” talking yourself out of fearing and into leading. Replace self-criticism and self-doubt with positive self-talk. Rather than wasting mental energy figuring out how to be like the crowd, you might do better to spend that time challenging yourself to be set apart from the herd.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
- Keep a journal: Be a collector of good ideas, but don't trust your memory. The best collecting place for all of the ideas and information that comes your way is your journal. Get a journal and start writing in it every day! Set your goals. Write about your child's birthdays, their school and sports activities, and special moments. Include your notes from a seminar, books you are reading or sermons you have heard. Take notes when at lunch with a friend. Write out your prayer list and your daily goals. Think, ponder, and dream – and write it down. Then, of course, go back and review often. Finally, simply writing about your feelings and frustrations helps you focus on what is really going on in your life and in your head, so that you can come up with a solution to your problems.
“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” Proverbs 20:5
- Arrange to spend time alone: There is profit in sitting still (or at least in the promise of serenity). Spending time alone is also extremely beneficial to our mental health and happiness. Breakthroughs in brain imaging technology have allowed scientists to look directly at the brains of meditating subjects. What they see is compelling, because meditation changes the brain – in good ways. People who practice meditation literally rewire their brains in ways that promote clarity, creativity, empathy, and self-awareness. Spending time alone gives you the ability to discover things about yourself and to get a real understanding of who you are. We have grown to appreciate the art of getting to know others, but in reality, it is even more important to get to know ourselves, our preferences, our likes and dislikes without other people's influences.
“Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’” Mark 6:31
- Expand your library: Build a figurative and literal library. Start reading and pick up books from multiple eras and seemingly unrelated subject matter. Read the classics, and you will find it will help you learn new subjects and cultivate new concepts through one of the most common methods of learning – analogy. This exercise alone can make the biggest difference and what may seem difficult at first in time will open up a library of information and become habit.
“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.” Romans 15:4
- Look for someone whom you can confide in: This can be a mentor that you open up to or a friend that will tell you like it is. You need to be able to confide in them but you also need real feedback – you need someone who you know would be truthful with you and you are comfortable being honest with them. This forces you to open up and tell your thoughts and think about new paths and options and learn to listen and develop relationships. In addition, it keeps you accountable. While mentors may be the hidden key to many leaders success, it is a key one you should develop and seek out in someone else.
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20
- Become self-reliant: This is somebody who relies on their own capabilities, judgment, resources and who is ultimately independent. They do not need someone else; they can not only survive, but thrive on their own. To accomplish this, eliminate waste where possible, become debt-free, and then live simpler and within your means. Do what you can to prepare for crises to be able to take care of yourselves, family, and others. Another great way to develop this and foster self-reliance is planting a small garden or farming. Through working the soil you learn many great lessons in independence. It teaches stewardship, patience, cultivation, planning, hard work, and providing for oneself. Finally, part of self-reliance is principled realism and planning for the future and unexpected while you manage today.
“A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” Proverbs 27:12
